Chapter 14 – Feelings and answer (6)
Translator – Vodka
What should I say?
It wasn’t that I couldn’t offer a few condolences, but I got caught up in a seemingly endless thought-process.
However, nothing came to mind.
It was always like this.
Nice words never came to me when it mattered.
Even though my mouth ran unbridled every other time.
……I don’t know.
I never had her worries. Never have I thought about such a situation either.
It was difficult to understand a situation you haven’t experienced, and obviously, I was no exception.
Even if I were to force myself to sympathize carelessly, it wouldn’t do a very good job at comforting her. Instead, it would simply keep her hanging as she could have some expectations.
If so, wasn’t it better to not gloss it over with pretentious words? Wouldn’t it be better for her that way?
“Honestly, the truth is I don’t understand……”
Instead of bringing ambiguity into the play, I stated clearly.
It was up to the other party to decide whether or not to call my words irresponsible or consider them a result of abandonment of thinking.
However, the woman called Kirasaka Rei had a considerable understanding of me.
Since we had become second-years, she had, under controlled conditions, observed me from an even closer distance than Shizuku, who was the childhood friend.
A consoling sympathizer was definitely not what she had in mind when she said I was ‘special’.
So, I wavered not, and stayed true to myself.
Even if it were to be the wrong choice. Even if it were to be nothing more than my selfish imposition.
That was why I couldn’t help but think.
What is ‘special’ to me?
Immediately, my family members and Shizuku came to mind. After all, ‘special’ were undoubtedly those with whom you have had spent years of your lives.
However, the ‘special’ she keeps talking about ought to be different.
That was exactly why there was something that I had to say to her.
It was because I didn’t understand. Because I have had to traverse a completely different path than hers.
It was precisely because I couldn’t understand that there were words only I could say.
“……But indeed, I think it’s fine to say that you have talent. It’s a fact after all.”
The difference between a genius and an ordinary.
No matter what anyone had to say about it, there existed a basic difference in the specs between the two.
No matter what you were told, and no matter how much time had elapsed, that wouldn’t change.
There was a wall that couldn’t be brought down with effort.
No matter how much effort you put in, be it in studies, sports, arts, etc., there would always be a limitation.
That was why countless people in this world had pursued their dreams and failed.
Effort wasn’t able to bridge every gap.
“It is an undeniable fact that Kirasaka is a special person in people’s eyes……rather, it would be tough to state otherwise. Even if I know that you hate it.”
However, that was not an answer.
I filled my mouth with what was left of the sandwich in my hand and downed it with the tea that had been presented before.
Then, I continued to speak.
“However……You are remarkable because you excel at so many things, not because you are the daughter of the president.”
Being jealous of others because they had something you didn’t, changed nothing.
Even elementary school students should know that nothing would change unless one took action and procured the desired result.
It was insolent to think that the world would change when you did nothing to try and change it.
Therefore, the only thing I could say was to not pay attention to what people had to say, that it was nothing other than their jealousy towards her because she had what they didn’t.
I don’t think I could actually say it though.
A bitter smile hung on Kirasaka’s lips. She was looking to the side to evade making eye contact.
“I should change my way of thinking……It’s a plus to have what others don’t.”
Even if I do say so myself, that sounded cheesy.
I wanted to have a way with words, trying to be suave as I delivered my opinion, but it ended up sounding rather blunt.
My words might have sounded like sophistry in her ears.
However, that was all I could say now.
“……Fufu, that’s right.”
Said Kirasaka, her gaze returning my way. Her expression seemed to return to normal from what seemed like a possession.
Seeing that her voice and eyes aren’t cold, her impression of me is not bad?
At any rate, her earlier words piqued my interest and I asked.
“Be that as it may, I am being liked by Kirasaka quite a bit huh……”
No matter how much of an excessively special treatment I didn’t give her, it didn’t add up.
It shouldn’t be that easy to be liked by a beauty.
At my question, Kirasaka put on a pensive expression, her hand resting against her chin, and spoke.
“This is a first for me too, having this much interest in a person……But, after all this time, I am starting to understand the reason somewhat.”
“Is that so……the reason is?”
At her suggestive words, I asked, unconsciously impatient.
However, what came my way were words that could hardly be considered a reply.
“What I think I lack is ‘romance’, the true charm of youth.”
I wondered what she would say, but what came out of her mouth were words unbefitting her.
The student named Kirasaka Rei led a solitary high-school life, unconnected with the concepts of ‘youth’ or ‘romance’.
For her to say something like that……
At my somewhat exasperated response, she looked at me seriously.
“Reluctantly although, after seeing Kanzaki-san and Shinra-kun, a familiar feeling of discomfort resurfaced. That’s when I had a feeling that the answer was not far away.”
She appended “Reluctantly although” once more at the end.
“You don’t have to be that hostile towards Shizuku you know.” is what I thought, since she was my childhood friend after all.
Well, I have heard girls had more complicated relationships than boys. Theirs shouldn’t be an exception either.
“That’s why you are going on a date with me this weekend.”
Similar to when she invited me over for lunch, it was as if she simply informed me of her decision. There was no room for discussion.
Momentarily though, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to turn her down for this event. She gave off that kind of an impression.
My rejection of the idea was apparent in my reply, but she proceeded with her one-sided plan.
She talked about the time and place. She also seemed to be happily muttering something about her attire for that day.
“Well then, I have to make preparations for the date. So, I will take my leave.”
“Hey hey……you’re going to skip the afternoon classes?”
She turned around and departed from this place with light steps.
Before leaving, she turned around one last time, and although it would have been impossible to make out her expression, had she been standing any farther, a faint smile could be seen hanging on her lips.