Real Intention and real intention (10)
Translator – Vodka
Editor – Soju
Uploaded the edited version of #56.
I am leaving the city next week for a considerable number of days.
The chapter might get delayed. Will notify accordingly.
Towards that sudden question, I subconsciously sank into silence.
It wasn’t a question that was hard to answer.
I had already come up with the answer, quite a long time ago.
Rather than saying that I had come up with the answer, I ought to have said that it had always been there. It hadn’t changed.
However, if I was to assume that Yuuto had lied and that he hadn’t been going out with Shizuku, then my answer would hurt her. I knew that.
For me, the girl named Kanzaki Shizuku was——
“Shizuku is……just a childhood friend”
I turned towards Yuuto and clearly conveyed my honest thoughts.
That’s right, Shizuku was simply a childhood friend.
She was more than just a regular friend, but that was pretty much it.
Nothing more, nothing less.
It was often said that a really intimate friend of the opposite sex was more than a friend and less than a lover. However, it was a little bit different in our case.
She was a childhood friend. However, I was sure that I had categorized her as someone special to me.
A precious person, you could even say.
However, my feelings for Shizuku weren’t romantic like the feelings that Yuuto had for her.
I had never thought of wanting to walk together with her while holding hands.
I had never thought of wanting to become her most special person.
I had never even thought of the possibility of her being by my side in the future. Even imagining something like that was difficult.
By no means, was it because of Shizuku though.
It was just that, I couldn’t fundamentally begin to fathom such a scenario. I couldn’t even begin to imagine any other person other than my family, standing beside me.
“Kanzaki-san is not to your liking?”
“To my liking, you ask?……am I even in a position where I could answer that?”
If I said I liked her, I would be attacked by her fans.
This wasn’t a problem of whether I liked her or not.
There was a simpler, and hence, bigger problem on hand.
“……In the first place, what does it feel like when you love someone?”
I had unconsciously said that out loud.
Was it different from the feelings of love that I had for my family?
I loved Kaede, as a brother, and as her family.
Of course, I loved my parents as well, as a son.
It was just that, I didn’t understand the difference between the love I had for my family, and the love that Yuuto and Shizuku had for the people they cherished.
If I had to state my honest opinion, I had my own reasons for turning down their requests during the spring break.
Though, it wasn’t a lie that I had turned them down because it was a pain in the ass either.
Those kinds of problems could have easily become a troublesome affair, so I didn’t want anything to do with it.
Then again, since I myself didn’t understand the feelings of love for anyone other than my family members, it would have been difficult for me to help those two.
Even if they were troubled or frustrated over the emotion of love, I wouldn’t be able to comprehend those feelings.
I was confident that I would have ended up hurling cold words at them.
“I think that differs from person to person. However, when you come to like someone, the world seems to sparkle splendidly, I guess?……A feeling of fulfilment envelopes you”
“In that case, my world is in monochrome”
I said these words in a voice inaudible to the two before me.
Wasn’t it befitting of myself?
A plain world of black and white.
Every day was filled with boredom.
Although I would often feel tired, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like I had a fulfilling day.
At the very least, I couldn’t recall a day down memory lane, when my world had shone splendidly.
“Are you satisfied with this?” (MC)
I couldn’t think of my answer as anything but unsatisfactory.
However, Yuuto gently nodded, seemingly satisfied.
The grim expression that he had been displaying, had returned to the usual charismatic one. It made everything until now seem like a lie.
It was as if he had just gotten rid of something troublesome.
“This means that there is still a lot of possibilities”
Judging from the flow of the conversation, was he talking about the possibility of me falling in love with Shizuku?
Yuuto, who had been looking at me until this moment, directed his gaze towards the stairs at the entrance of the park.
I turned back and shifted my attention toward the direction of Yuuto’s gaze.
Kirasaka too had been looking at the entrance.
The one who descended down those stairs was the person who was at the centre of this dilemma. It was Kanzaki Shizuku.